Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Our Shadow

Our shadow is everything we think we aren’t. It is an accumulation of our stored darkness that we refuse to look at and accept.

Whatever we feel is not acceptable to reveal to our family, friends, society and ourselves is hidden within our shadow. In order to be accepted and feel good about ourselves we reject those parts of our psyches that we don’t want to show the world. Unfortunately, all of these rejected aspects of ourselves still remain with us and are covered up by all of our social masks. However, these negative aspects are still a part of our being and they will continue to show themselves when we least expect it!

On your journey to discover your inner secrets and mysteries, you may find it valuable to explore the dark, hidden crevices within your psyche. Carl Jung called this place the "shadow self." It is also called the lower self, animal nature, the alter ego, or the inner demon, the place where the unowned side of your personality lives. Your shadow self is the part of you that stays unknown, unexamined, and out of the light of your conscious awareness. It is the part that is denied or suppressed because it makes you uncomfortable or afraid. Whatever doesn't fit your image of your ideal self becomes your shadow.

Jung asked, Would you rather be good or whole? It is especially important to explore your shadow as you strive for the light, because this often increases its density. This occurs because what you resist in life tends to persist and even become stronger. If you resist your dark side, it becomes more solid.

You weren't born with your shadow. Babies love and accept themselves; they poop all over themselves and then laugh with glee. They don't judge themselves harshly and think some parts are good and some parts are bad. There are only two natural fears - fear of falling and fear of loud noises. All other fears are learned or conditioned by your family, culture, and upbringing; and what you have learned, you can unlearn!

The more hidden your shadow is, the more covert an influence it will have on you. Once you are prepared to shine a light on the darker parts of yourself, you must be prepared to be honest about what you uncover.Until the moment that you face your fears and honor your shadow side, there will exist a depth inside you that you cannot fathom.

If you want to see the nature of your shadow, be aware of your judgments about others. If you observe something it is not a projection, but if you judge it, it is. What you judge in others can be a reflection of qualities that you possess, but deny, within yourself. If you are always judging others, then it is likely that your own shadow self is quietly screaming at you.

We do not need to fear our shadow; in fact, we need to learn how to embrace it. Our shadow will only show up when we are ready to truly move into wholeness, gain our highest soul’s potential and become the master of our lives. We must move through our darkness before we will truly be able to fully step into the light of our divinity. When we acknowledge the information our shadow provides and accept its teachings, our shadow becomes the bridge between the darkness of our fears to the light of redemption and unification. Our soul knows when it is time to clear our energy and begin to live our life in a different way. When our soul feels we are ready, our shadow will be brought forth and each of us will be called to find the inner strength to face it so we can transform it. This part of ourselves can no longer be denied, it must be acknowledged, transformed and integrated into our being before we will be able to raise our vibrations to our highest potential.

Denial of our negative feelings does not make them go away. In order to transform them they must be fully experienced so they can be acknowledged and healed. If we continue to avoid these unpleasant feelings they will continue to influence our behaviors and will be like little magnets that continue to attract people and situations into our life that we would rather not be involved with.

If we deny our shadow consciousness it will continue to persist. Bringing our conscious awareness to it and accepting it as part of our being shines light on it, transmuting it into love.

The shadow holds all the darkness from every traumatic event we have ever endured and not cleared from our subconscious mind. In order for us to fully step into our light, resolve our karma and raise our vibrations we must face and clear all of those things we refuse to accept about ourselves. This is why our relationships are often referred to as mirrors.

The Universe is lovingly bringing situations to each one of us helping us to heal and step into wholeness. When we have demagnetized all of our shadow consciousness, we will no longer attract relationships to show us our hidden aspects that we have been in denial about. We will no longer need another person to mirror our shadow back to us and we will naturally move towards those relationships that reflect back our light. Before we can be healed of any condition - body, mind or soul - we must be willing to take ownership of our creations before we can truly let them go.

We have to transform our darkness into light and the only way to do that is to bring it into our conscious awareness and look at it with self-honesty. We need to clear out our energy fields and face our lies, shame, blame and anger. We must stop denying the negativity that lives within our being and face it so we can heal ourselves and become whole and authentic.

“To confront a person with his shadow is to show him his own light. Once one has experienced a few times what it is like to stand judgingly between the opposites, one begins to understand what is meant by the self. Anyone who perceives his shadow and his light simultaneously sees himself from two sides and thus gets in the middle." Carl Jung



Monday, July 28, 2014

Having a Best Friend

A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand “Today my best friend slapped me in the face”.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone “Today my best friend saved my life”.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, “After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?” The other friend replied “When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”

“Best friends are hard to find, harder to leave and impossible to forget."

Do not value the things you have in your life. But value who you have in your life.



Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Unconditional Love ❤

Unconditional love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. It’s unconditional love when other people care about our happiness unconditionally.

Unconditional love allows you to love yourself first, so that you have the strength of heart and mind to give the same to another person. We are quite specifically conditioned to only give love when we are reciprocated, and most often according to what we think is worthy of our love. Unconditional love is not a loan needing to be repaid, but a string-less gift of the heart - a gesture where only you benefit directly. 

Loving unconditionally is more a behavior versus a feeling. Loving is the act of extending ourselves, vulnerabilities and all, into uncharted emotional territory with the belief that regardless of the outcome, we want to benefit another person. Imagine love as a behavior in and of itself, with the satisfaction being that feeling you get when you act a certain way for them, not when someone else acts a certain way to you. This becomes a pure act of generosity.

To love someone unconditionally does not mean that the act of that love is always going to be easy or feel comfortable. To be there for someone when they have challenges and need to foster growth, even those individuals in the fog of confusion know that there is going to be pain and some serious discomfort -- if you choose to protect them from these feelings and emotions you’re not loving them unconditionally. Unconditional love means you tell them the truth with gentle, kind communication and you are there, without judgement, to see them to the other side.

Unconditional love is aspired toward in the realm of personal and spiritual growth as the highest form of love.

We can love someone unconditionally from a distance while having conditions for how they treat us. We can pray for them, wish them well, and want the best for them while maintaining boundaries about how we are treated. Unconditional love in its purest sense doesn’t mean allowing someone to repeatedly abuse or harm us, no matter what.

Forgiveness is so important.  It’s probably the most difficult and truly unconditional act we perform. Forgiving "is not something we do, but something we are." Granting forgiveness unconditionally isn’t communicating you’ll allow someone to be hurtful or discounting. The act of practicing unconditional love will be tainted and not at all healing if you choose to hold onto negative stuff.

The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.” - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

What does unconditional love mean to You?


Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Everything changes.

Impermanence is the very nature of life. In fact, change is just another word for living—“to live” means “to change.”

When we stand in the river of life with our feet planted, like we are an island, life begins to feel like an overwhelming wall of water bearing down on us. What we think about ourselves is challenged by change. 

To be alive is to be in a constant state of revolution. Changing situations should affect our behavior. That is sanity; allowing new information to inform my point of view. When we are open to change, the transition is relatively smooth. We are going with the flow. An open mind is a swinging door. It is a mind that does not resist change. An open mind allows thought to be a reflection of change. From this point of view, thought is always fresh, because life is always changing.

We have to accept the fact that we cannot wrestle happiness out of this world simply by putting life in a head-lock and forcing it to play with us. We have to see that life is change, change is life; that they are one in the same thing.

Trying to organize impermanent phenomena into permanent categories of thought is like trying to herd cats. Furthermore, we are not somehow other than this change, we are Life. We are change.

“Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” ~ Bruce Lee