Saturday, November 14, 2015

Soul Tree

I like to think of soul relationships as similar to a large tree with a thousand leaves on it. Those leaves that are on your twig are intimately close to you.

You may even share experiences, soul experiences, among yourselves. There may be three or four or five leaves on your twig. You are also highly and closely related to the leaves on the branch next to yours. They share a common limb. They are close to you, but not as close as the leaves on your own twig. Similarly, as you extend farther out along the tree, you are still related to these other leaves or souls, but not as closely as those in your immediate proximity. You are all part of one tree and one trunk. You can share experiences. You know each other. But those on your twig are the closest.

There are many other trees in this beautiful forest. Each tree is connected to the others through the root system in the ground. So even though there may be a leaf on a distant tree that seems quite different from you and very far away, you are still connected to that leaf. You are connected to all leaves. But you are the most closely connected to those on your tree. And even more intimately connected to those on your branch. And almost as one with those on your own twig.

You probably have met the other souls farther out on your tree in previous lifetimes. They may have been in many different relationships with you. Their interactions may have been extremely brief. Even a thirty-minute encounter could have helped you learn a lesson or helped them or the both of you, as is usually the case. One of these souls may have been the beggar in the road to whom you gave a heart's gift, allowing you to extend your compassion to another human being and allowing the recipient to learn about receiving love and help. You and the beggar may have never met again in that lifetime, and yet
you are part of the drama. Your meetings vary in duration-five minutes, one hour, a day, a month, a decade, or more-this is how souls relate. Relationships are not measured in time but in lessons learned.
Brian Weiss – Only LOVE is Real

Wednesday, November 4, 2015


What is Creativity?
Creativity is the act of turning new and imaginative ideas into reality. Creativity is characterised by the ability to perceive the world in new ways, to find hidden patterns, to make connections between seemingly unrelated phenomena, and to generate solutions. Creativity involves two processes: thinking, then producing. If you have ideas, but don’t act on them, you are imaginative but not creative.

“Creativity is the process of bringing something new into being. Creativity requires passion and commitment. It brings to our awareness what was previously hidden and points to new life. The experience is one of heightened consciousness: ecstasy.” – Rollo May

When Gillian Lynne was a young girl, she struggled in school. She had a hard time focusing and fidgeted a lot, so much so that her mother took her to a doctor to get help. And help the doctor did, but not in the way Gillian’s mother expected……the doctor turned on a radio and left Gillian alone in the room, and then asked her mother to observe. Gillian was dancing! The doctor realized that Gillian’s true calling was as a dancer, and he encouraged her mother to enroll her in dance school.
Once in dance school, Gillian knew she had found her life’s passion. She went on to have incredible success as not just a dancer but also an actress and a choreographer! Today, she is renowned for the amazing work she has done, particularly her choreography in the Broadway productions Cats and Phantom of the Opera, in which she has created magic worlds of dance and enthralled the world with them.

This video tells the story of how Gillian got her “chance to dance” and the profound impact it had on her.

Friday, October 30, 2015

Lean in

“Put somebody on a treadmill and I’ll tell you how good they are at any other thing they do in life.” Will Smith

Will shares his experience of failure:
“After Earth comes out, I get the box-office numbers on Monday and I was devastated for about twenty-four minutes, and then my phone rang and I found out my father had cancer. That put it in perspective—viciously. And I went right downstairs and got on the treadmill. And I was on the treadmill for about ninety minutes. And that Monday started the new phase of my life, a new concept: Only love is going to fill that hole. You can’t win enough, you can’t have enough money, you can’t succeed enough. There is not enough. The only thing that will ever satiate that existential thirst is love. And I just remember that day I made the shift from wanting to be a winner to wanting to have the most powerful, deep, and beautiful relationships I could possibly have.”

Will says that in his house they have this quote up on the wall:

“Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.” Pema Chödrön

Will summarises the meaning of these words for his family:
“We call it leaning into the sharp parts. Something hurts, lean in. You just lean into that point until it loses its power over you. There’s a certain amount of suffering that you have to be willing to sustain if you want to have a good life.”
“Don’t let success go to your head and failure go to your heart” - Daphne Maxwell Reid, Aunt Viv on Fresh Prince.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Be Happy

The Happiest People Don’t Have The Best Of Everything, They Just Make The Best Of Everything

This is one of my favorite mantras because it’s not about having EVERYTHING – love, money, career etc., all going well simultaneously necessarily – it’s about making the best out of what you have, and what is going well in your life, to balance out what may not be going so well.

Happiness is something that we all seek. Every goal we set, every achievement we pursue, every relationship we engage in, and every journey we embark on is really just an attempt to feel happiness.

We are all meant to find our happiness, and sometimes there is no easy way there. Sometimes it takes a few bad decisions in order to get to the good ones. I believe that this is all part of life and we can either take it or leave it. While most of us take it, we wind up finding that maybe our bad decisions were the right ones all along.

Life consists of a series of unfolding events; some of these events are expected and some are unexpected. The happiest people on earth have learned that they can't control everything in life. This is a key element in living happily. While having the best of everything is great, it is not necessarily a requirement for a happy life. The secret for a successful and happy life resides in making the best out of everything-in finding the right balance between the little and the big things-and in knowing how to wisely respond to the good and the bad times.

The happiest people on earth look forward, not backward. They take action to create solutions to face and deal with whatever it is that they are going through.

The happiest people on earth visualize positive outcomes. They are patient and know that things will work out in one way or another as nothing in life permanent.

The happiest people on earth are grateful for what they have. They have an attitude of gratitude and highly value their family and friends, and everything they have. They live in the now and know that complaining about what they don't have at the moment is senseless.

The happiest people on earth realize that they can't do it all. They are humble in character and reach out to their circle of friends and family for help when they need it.

Benjamin Franklin once said, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Happy people don’t make excuses or blame others for their own failures in life. Instead, they own up to their mistakes and, by doing so, they proactively try to change for the better.

The happiest people on earth take leaps of faith. They step out their comfort zone into their courage zone to explore the unknown and the uncertain. They are confident that believing in what they cannot see can come to reality and bring great happiness and success to their lives.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Anything - Everything

How you do anything is how you do everything. 
Take a moment to read this sentence again, and fully absorb the meaning in these words: How you do anything is how you do everything.
This statement is not to be taken lightly and can enhance your life immensely.
How you handle and manage any situation, challenge or experience in your life is how you probably handle all of them.

How I hold a yoga pose. How I finish my track workout. How I treat my body. What I make for dinner. How I speak to my friend. How I greet a stranger. How I drive in traffic. How I write my final paper. How I keep myself sane and centered. How I separate laundry. How I budget. How I schedule my day.

If I do simple, ordinary things in a careless, half-assed way, it will become my trademark. Maybe not all at once, but slowly it will. That’s how weight creeps on, relationships fizzle out, kids go astray, dreams fade, and good assignments go to other writers. 

Because how you do anything is how you do everything, it is important to be honest about how you do the "anything".

For example, how do you perform at work? What are you friendships like? How to you approach a challenge?

If you are late with deadlines at work and do not pay close attention to detail, then the chances are that these characteristics can be seen in your personal life and relationships as well. If you often find yourself having conflict with friends and family members, you will probably find that there is conflict in the other areas of your life too.

If you procrastinate, you procrastinate in everything. The first step is to understand, admit and truly own up to it. Understand that this problem affects every area of your life! It’s what’s holding you back and it’s what’s keeping you where you’ve always been. Habit’s cause a lack of growth and keep you in the same routine. You must first, change your habits. Success comes with growth so you must break and replace these habits. 

Another way to follow the principle “how you do anything is how you do everything” is to be passionate about everything you do. Make a decision to live life on purpose and put effort into everything you do.

Once you understand how you do “anything,” you can make grand changes for your life in general. Perhaps now is the time to break old patterns and set new standards for yourself. The way you eat, the way you spend money, the way you have relationships is an expression of who you are and what you believe. Look at what you’re doing and instead of trying to fix problems or make them go away, become interested in them as an opportunity to learn what’s really going on.

If we do simple, ordinary things in a mindful, intentional way, this will become our trademark. When we pay attention. When we care enough to be present and tune in. When we remember that the little things add up to become the big things.

When we find a way to incorporate love into anything we do, it works its way into everything we do. And one day, perhaps, love will simply be who we are.

How you do anything is how you do everything.

Friday, October 23, 2015


We live in a world of constant communication and bombardment of sound.  IPhones, IPads, Internet connect us to anyone at anytime.  Silence has come to be something we fear.  It is unnatural.
A lot of times we just talk and talk but without actually saying anything. Maybe it’s because we want to feel that we’re heard and that people acknowledge our presence and existence.
Wouldn’t it be wiser to talk less and say more while at the same time immersing ourselves in those moments of silence and allowing them to just be?

The adaptation to silence also dissolves barriers between ourselves and others. Although words are mainly intended to form bridges of communication, they often have the opposite effect. Many people use words simply to fill the void that they feel inside themselves. They are uncomfortable with silence, and so they chatter. They hope to connect with others, but often the chatter prevents any real communication. As they sense that they are not experiencing the intimate connection they hope for, they may even increase their chatter, going off into tangents of no relevance whatsoever in the hope that more words will somehow convey their feelings.
“Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.” ~ Plato

We have forgotten what it means to be silent.

There’s nothing wrong with silence. I don’t know how we got this idea that silence is awkward and that it should be avoided at all costs. 

“It has been said that it’s the space between the bars that holds the tiger. And it’s the silence between the notes that makes the music. It is out of the silence, or “the gap,” or that space between our thoughts, that everything is created-including our own bliss.” – Wayne Dyer

Silence is a precious gift. In that space between our words it’s where we find ourselves. When the mind is quiet, when there are no thoughts and no words to be said, we can hear our own heart talking to us. We can hear our own soul and our own intuition.

The reason why so many of us are under so much stress is because we haven’t yet learned how to quiet our minds and embrace silence. We haven’t yet learned to appreciate and see the value and the wisdom that comes from being quiet.

“There is no need to go to India or anywhere else to find peace. You will find that deep place of silence right in your room, your garden or even your bathtub.” - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

When we allow ourselves to be quiet, to breathe in and breathe out, without the need to force ourselves into saying another word or think another thought, that’s when we can hear our inner voice, our heart and intuition. That’s when we can experience our own Divinity, our own beauty and perfection.

Silence is my greatest teacher, whispering things in my ear and helping me know things that I won’t be able to discover from anywhere else.

“Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom.” ~ Francis Bacon

Learn to talk less, say more. When you use your words, use them because they will brighten someone’s day and because they will teach people something valuable. Don’t just use words for the sake of using them. Use them because you have something to say.

“Fear less, hope more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Hate less, love more; And all good things are yours.” ~ Swedish proverb

When two minds are well steeped in silence, a fantastic communication ensues. Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh once said of his friendship with Martin Luther King Jr., “You could tell him just a few things, and he understood the things you did not say.”

The Sufis and Taoists say that those who say, don’t know; and those who know, don’t say.

Learning to still the mind’s dialogue opens the door to a domain of silence that has the potential to heal and transform your life. As you tap into this inner silence, you begin the process of shifting your internal reference point from ego to soul, from fear to love, from anxiety to peace, and from constriction to expansion.

“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” - Ram Dass

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

The Ecstasy of Surrender

Are you willing to surrender who you are for what you can become?

Are you longing for your life to be easier and more fun? Would you like to stop pushing, micromanaging, and forcing things so you can relax? What if you could enjoy what you have instead of always lusting for “more”? What if you could live in “the zone,” propelled by powerful currents toward the right people and opportunities? What if you could stop worrying about money and live with more emotional ease in the moment? If you answer “yes” to all these questions and desire lasting positive change, then prepare to experience the ecstasy of surrender.

The art of letting go, Dr. Judith Orloff explains, is the secret key to manifesting power and success in all areas of life, including work, relationships, sexuality, radiant aging, and health and healing. In our superconnected world where emails and text messages constantly interrupt us, it’s easier to let go than you think. Once embraced, surrendering removes roadblocks and the exhaustion that comes from “trying too hard”—and it helps you achieve goals more effortlessly and brings ongoing happiness. 
With her stunning gift for storytelling coupled with her unique, results-oriented approach to physical, emotional, and spiritual health—marrying neuroscience, psychiatry, intuitive medicine, energy techniques, and more—Judith provides a powerful, practical, and accessible map for anyone who is longing to be happier but who feels stuck, burned-out, tense, worried, or afraid to let go.
“Each of us becomes ready to surrender for different reasons and the accompanying change is sometimes painful. Just as a seed starts in the darkness and then splits apart to become something larger and more alive, surrender impels our consciousness to grow.”

Monday, September 28, 2015

A New Love Declaration

A great convergence is under way today: the convergence of reason and emotion, observation and intuition, science and spirituality. We are not discovering deeper truths; we are re-discovering them.
The great re-discovery is that underlying the welter of things and processes in the world there is an order that confers unity and oneness on all things. The happy news is that this applies also to us, human beings. We are not separate, self-centered lonely beings but organic parts of the human family and of the web of life on Earth. Our natural state is a state of oneness—the state of unity of all the cells and organs of our body, and of all the systems and communities in which we participate.
Separateness and isolation is a flaw and an illusion; our natural condition is a state of oneness. It is a state of all-embracing love. With the “re-cognition” and “re-feeling” of this state we can regain the coherence and meaning we had lost in the modern world. We can participate in the vast awakening that is now re-bonding young people to each other and to nature.
This Declaration describes the roots, the culture and the consciousness of all-embracing love. These hallmark the thinking and the acting we need to create a world of thrival and peace. We need not go from crisis to catastrophe. All-embracing love can be, and will be, our salvation. – Ervin Laszlo

Ervin Laszlo is an integral philosopher, system theorist, founder of the Club of Budapest, who brings a holistic perspective on the individual, society and the world. In this talk Ervin stresses the importance of Love for the world at large and ends with how important it is to empower women.

Namaste :)

Friday, September 25, 2015

One Great Love

Yesterday, I spent the day in bed with a man I love very much.
I was caring for him after his hand surgery to repair a broken thumb. I’ve told him over and over for the last fifteen years that one day his aggressive basketball pick up games would end in disaster. He didn’t listen to me. He didn’t care, he was in love.
Every Wednesday night he meets his passion on a shiny wood floor. And every Wednesday night, he walks off the court, bruised, scraped and sprained. The injuries are insignificant to him, because he knows the freedom in that moment—when he catches the ball, sprints down the court, levitates and launches the ball into the home of the net, his feet meet floor and his whole being is coated in peace. He’s rewarded for the hard work, effort and faith he dedicates to the game. He knows the falls, pains and breaks are a part of the practice, of playing and exposing himself to the elements of the game. He learns something from every game, how to be a better player.
This hopeful, passionate determined man is my ex-husband. He’s part of my work, practice and preparation on the court of life. He prepared me for the dunk of my basketball into the hoop of great love.
Yesterday he recovered in his bed—me on my computer and he, induced in a percocet dream land, serenaded by the basketball game on television. We laughed, we cried, we hugged, we talked, we reminisced about our beautiful life, still friends, still loving each other, sharing in the joys of our two precious little girls.
Glazed in the eyes but clear in the heart, he looked at me and said, “If we had remained in our marriage, you would have died. I would have died. We were finished preparing each other. It was time for us to move forward and accept the love we have and the life we created. The thing is, I will love you forever.”
With tears trickling down my cheeks, I could only whisper, “I know, you were my preparation. You helped me answer my questions so I could learn who I am and now I know my truth.”
There are two types of romantic relationships—the ones that prepare you for your one great love, and the other is your one great love. How do you know which is which?

The ones who prepare you, make you question everything, especially yourself.
The great one does not question you and you don’t either.

How do I know?

I’ve met someone who doesn’t question himself, me or us. Why? Because the work has been done. We’re both prepared. We’re settled. We did our falling, bruising and breaking. We have both missed shot after shot but this time, the ball swished through the net, our feet have landed, and we’re both grounded and complete in who we are and what we want of life.
Every relationship leading up to the unquestionable one is our work. It’s our self work, analysis and discovery. Every person stands before us as our mirror. With each relationship comes more understanding, depth, authenticity and honesty. 

Each time we have issues in our relationships whether in the beginning or when they end (after we have missed the shot), we’re challenged to look inward and ask:


Where should I have positioned myself when I took the shot?

What do I need to work on to have better aim, a stronger arm and sharper focus?
Once the questions are answered we move to the next question, the next relationship. The purpose in the journey of romance and love is not to find another who will complete us or fill us to full, it’s to discover our selves. The missed shot is never about the ball or the hoop, it is about the player throwing the ball. The more practiced, educated, matured, skilled the player is, the greater the shot, the greater the love.

We fall in love with the ones who prepare us, in hopes we’ll learn to love ourselves in the process. Through the practice of connection, we help each other become the purest form of ourselves. We need others to stand before us, next to us, crash into us, and fall to the ground with us to help us answer our questions: Who am I? What’s my purpose? What do I need to uncover to see myself clearly?
Each relationship bounces us closer to our truth, to our net at the end of the court.
Every relationship will remain in our way, until the question mark begins to float from our hearts to our actions and there’s nothing left to do but answer it. With the answer comes the end.
When relationships end, we tend to beat ourselves up with guilt and doubt. Why didn’t it work? What could I have done differently? Nothing. You did exactly what you were supposed to. Instead, ask the questions:
What have I learned about myself?
How have I grown from this experience?
What will remain with me and what will I let go of?

There’s always work to do, it’s never done. We’re always growing, transforming, shedding our fears and weaknesses. Yet if we devote our hearts to discovering what we’re here to do and we find the answer, we can rest within ourselves knowing we’re our own companion, our own best friend, our own true love.

Once we marry ourselves and another being marries themselves, then the one great love will be revealed. We will stand side by side, not attached or dependent on the other, no jealousy, no doubt, no guilt, no judgment—just being. There’s no question because the questions that matter have been answered.

Relationships come in all forms, from one night trysts to a decade (or five decades) of marriage.

I see marriages very differently than I did before the end of my own. I used to believe, once a person declared his or her love in front of great aunts, uncles and champagne colored chair covers, it was done—the person standing before them is their one great love. Maybe this is true for an extraordinary few who have done their work, but for most, no.

This person is another lesson, another run down the court. Most marriages are a public declaration of a commitment to answering a question above all others. Marriage is founded on hope, hope that all the questions will be answered and each person will be able to maintain their connection to one another throughout an entire lifetime. Out of comfort, most ignore the questions completely. They will not learn the lesson and either end their relationship in hate, asking the same questions again in another relationship, or they’ll live together for fear of what exists outside their words of wonder. There are some who have honored the hard work of self study and have made a commitment to understand, acknowledge and love themselves so deeply they dwell within themselves, nested in the home of their spirit.

Is it tragic that I don’t sit at weddings and join in the oohs and ahs of the white knuckled hope of the bride and groom? Maybe, but if there’s something I was born to intrinsically comprehend, it’s human nature. I understand how unfinished, incomplete and tortured we are.

Our minds are cushioned with the protective aura of hope so we’ll continue to question, to fall in love and try tossing the ball into the hoop—because hope nudges us forward to keep practicing and learning from our ball game. Through the practice we refine, we discern, we hone in on the truth and then we exist in it. We exist in ourselves.

When a relationship fractures or dies, we do the same thing—we break, we think our hearts breaks.
The heart can not break, it is unbreakable. Heartbreak is the awakening of the heart and the rising of the spirit. We begin to feel viscerally, we think we will implode, yet what is happening is the explosion of love.
Keith, my ex-husband may have broken his finger, but it did not break his heart. His passion and love for basketball will never fade. It is his. The break of his thumb only strengthened the love he has for his beloved game and his devotion to becoming the best player he can be. Is he sad? Does he yearn for the squeak of his shoes on the polished floor and the feel of the textured hide under his fingertips? Absolutely, but he relishes in the exhilaration of running down the court even if he misses the shot. He has hope he will step onto the court again, play the greatest game of his life and freedom will slam dunk.
One day, if we’ve been devoted to our self work and endure the bruises, breaks, doubts and guilt, we find ourselves wide open.
The ball is thrown directly into our hands, there’s no defense, we dribble straight to the end of the court, leap in the air, let go of the ball and we know—without question this time—there will be nothing but net.
As the leather caresses the ropes of the hoop, we touch the ground with our feet and right next to us is another who has just landed too.  The only thing left to do is reach out, hold hands and begin to walk forward together, scars and all.
We recognize the love that has always been in our hearts, in our blood, in our eyes, in our hands, in our footsteps, in our breath. There’s no falling in love because the falling already happened, this time we land with grace and see the love that has been dwelling in our great one all along, they’re as wide open as we are and ready to receive us.

By Rebecca Lammersen

Thursday, September 24, 2015


The Buddha said that we should completely subdue our minds. Whatever we do, for good or ill, it is our mind that is the true agent. In the very depths of our being, we all desire one thing: we want to be happy. We don't want to suffer. But because of this - this wanting - the three defilements of craving, aversion, and ignorance arise, and suffering is what we get. It is because of these defilements that we accumulate actions that prevent us from escaping from Samsara.

So it is important right from the start to see the difference between a good motivation and an evil one. Our own mindfulness should be our teacher. We must examine what is positive and what is negative with mindfulness. If positive thoughts arise, we should go along with them. If nonvirtuous thoughts arise, we should put a stop to them. A virtuous mind is the source of happiness. An unvirtuous mind is the source of pain.
Dudjom Rinpoche, Counsels from My Heart

Without understanding how your inner nature evolves, how can you possibly discover eternal happiness? Where is eternal happiness? It's not in the sky or in the jungle; you won't find it in the air or under the ground. Everlasting happiness is within you, within your psyche, your consciousness, your mind. That's why it's important that you investigate the nature of your own mind.
Lama Thubten Yeshe

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Be in the Present Moment

“Looking at beauty in the world, is the first step of purifying the mind.”
― Amit RayMeditation: Insights and Inspirations

One day the Buddha held up a flower in front of an audience of 1,250 monks and nuns. He did not say anything for quite a long time. The audience was perfectly silent. Everyone seemed to be thinking hard, trying to see the meaning behind the Buddha's gesture. Then, suddenly, the Buddha smiled. He smiled because someone in the audience smiled at him and at the flower.... To me the meaning is quite simple. When someone holds up a flower and shows it to you, he wants you to see it. If you keep thinking, you miss the flower. The person who was not thinking, who was just himself, was able to encounter the flower in depth, and he smiled.
That is the problem of life. If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything.
Peace Is Every Step

Tuesday, September 22, 2015


Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.  ~Maori Proverb

Suffering is our best teacher because it hangs onto us and keeps us in its grip until we have learnt that particular lesson. Only then does suffering let go. If we haven’t learnt our lesson, we can be quite sure that the same lesson is going to come again, because life is nothing but an adult education class, If we don’t pass in any of the subjects, we just have to sit the examination again. Whatever lesson we have missed, we will get it again. That is why we find ourselves reacting to similar situations in similar ways many times. - Ayya Khema, from Being Nobody, Going Nowhere

"Beauty might bring happiness, but happiness always brings beauty."

Monday, September 21, 2015

Care and Compassion

“The one thing we can never get enough of is love. And the one thing we never give enough of is love.” ― Henry Miller

There is a Buddhist practice in which one imagines giving joy and the source of all joy to other people, thereby removing all their suffering. Though of course we cannot change their situation, I do feel that in some cases, through a genuine sense of caring and compassion, through our sharing in their plight, our attitude can help alleviate their suffering, if only mentally. However, the main point of this practice is to increase our inner strength and courage.
I have chosen a few lines that I feel would be acceptable to people of all faiths, and even to those with no spiritual belief. When reading these lines, if you are a religious practitioner, you can reflect upon the divine form that you worship. Then, while reciting these verses, make the commitment to enhance your spiritual values. If you are not religious, you can reflect upon the fact that, fundamentally, all beings are equal to you in their wish for happiness and their desire to overcome suffering. Recognizing this, you make a pledge to develop a good heart. It is most important that we have a warm heart. As long as we are part of human society, it is very important to be a kind, warm-hearted person.

May the poor find wealth,
Those weak with sorrow find joy.
May the forlorn find new hope,
Constant happiness and prosperity.
May the frightened cease to be afraid,
And those bound be free.
May the weak find power,
And may their hearts join in friendship.
from An Open Heart: Practicing Compassion in Everyday Life

Friday, September 18, 2015

Our LOVE ♥

 "It as if we are trying to fly in the sky with one wing.  A few people have the wing of love and a few people have the wing of freedom, but both are incapable of flying.  Both the wings are needed.” - Osho

How strange it seems that love, which should be the most free and voluntary of all human relationships, so often becomes a means of security and a source of obligation. Why does love so easily degenerate into patterns, habits, rights, duties, responsibilities, obligations, burdens, demands, & possessiveness?

Perhaps love turns into clinging dependence when we are insecure within ourselves —lonely, inadequate, needy, deficient at our deepest levels of being.
Maybe we become possessive when we cannot stand alone.

Ideally, our love should be a completely free choice from both sides, a voluntary commitment, renewable as often as we please. Romance obscures choice by talking of "falling in love", as if love "just happens" to us without our will or consent —Cupid's arrows let loose at random.
But if we have outgrown such romantic fantasies, we accept responsibility for creating the relationship between us.

Perhaps we notice prior hopes and sexual attraction, but we regard emotional needs and sex-appeal as poor bases for love. Rather, our love grows out of the persons we choose to be, emerges from the sharing of our Authentic projects-of-being—what we are fundamentally trying to do with our lives. 

Our love is a unique creation of the two of us. If we are becoming more Authentic, love does not arise from biological urges overwhelming us nor from cultural traditions possessing us nor from supernatural powers using us as their playthings.
Both of us are free persons, continually re-inventing ourselves.
And in this phase of our lives, we are writing our stories together.
Each morning we must reaffirm our projects-of-being.
Our projects cannot re-start themselves.
We must bring them back to life—or let they die away with yesterday.

Our relationship allows each of us to be whole and independent.
We are happy to be alone when one of us chooses to be alone.
We create times of meaningful sharing when we both want to be together.
We are not just extensions of each other, not two incomplete parts of a larger whole.
We are both complete within our skins—two self-creating persons.
And yet, without needing anything, we freely choose to love each other!

Loving in freedom, we create our relationship one day at a time.
We do not project our love into the future as a permanent relationship.
We might know and love each other for the rest of our lives,
but ours will never be a fixed, unchangeable relationship.
If we are free persons, continually growing and changing, no single relationship between us will last a life-time, but we might have a series of different relationships with each other, which, looking back, might have embraced many years of our lives. 

“Love is never a relationship; love is relating. It is always a river, flowing, unending. Love knows no full stop; the honeymoon begins but never ends. It is not like a novel that starts at a certain point and ends at a certain point. It is an ongoing phenomenon. Lovers end, love continues– it is a continuum. It is a verb, not a noun.” - Osho