Friday, September 18, 2015

Our LOVE ♥

 "It as if we are trying to fly in the sky with one wing.  A few people have the wing of love and a few people have the wing of freedom, but both are incapable of flying.  Both the wings are needed.” - Osho

How strange it seems that love, which should be the most free and voluntary of all human relationships, so often becomes a means of security and a source of obligation. Why does love so easily degenerate into patterns, habits, rights, duties, responsibilities, obligations, burdens, demands, & possessiveness?

Perhaps love turns into clinging dependence when we are insecure within ourselves —lonely, inadequate, needy, deficient at our deepest levels of being.
Maybe we become possessive when we cannot stand alone.

Ideally, our love should be a completely free choice from both sides, a voluntary commitment, renewable as often as we please. Romance obscures choice by talking of "falling in love", as if love "just happens" to us without our will or consent —Cupid's arrows let loose at random.
But if we have outgrown such romantic fantasies, we accept responsibility for creating the relationship between us.

Perhaps we notice prior hopes and sexual attraction, but we regard emotional needs and sex-appeal as poor bases for love. Rather, our love grows out of the persons we choose to be, emerges from the sharing of our Authentic projects-of-being—what we are fundamentally trying to do with our lives. 

Our love is a unique creation of the two of us. If we are becoming more Authentic, love does not arise from biological urges overwhelming us nor from cultural traditions possessing us nor from supernatural powers using us as their playthings.
Both of us are free persons, continually re-inventing ourselves.
And in this phase of our lives, we are writing our stories together.
Each morning we must reaffirm our projects-of-being.
Our projects cannot re-start themselves.
We must bring them back to life—or let they die away with yesterday.

Our relationship allows each of us to be whole and independent.
We are happy to be alone when one of us chooses to be alone.
We create times of meaningful sharing when we both want to be together.
We are not just extensions of each other, not two incomplete parts of a larger whole.
We are both complete within our skins—two self-creating persons.
And yet, without needing anything, we freely choose to love each other!

Loving in freedom, we create our relationship one day at a time.
We do not project our love into the future as a permanent relationship.
We might know and love each other for the rest of our lives,
but ours will never be a fixed, unchangeable relationship.
If we are free persons, continually growing and changing, no single relationship between us will last a life-time, but we might have a series of different relationships with each other, which, looking back, might have embraced many years of our lives. 

“Love is never a relationship; love is relating. It is always a river, flowing, unending. Love knows no full stop; the honeymoon begins but never ends. It is not like a novel that starts at a certain point and ends at a certain point. It is an ongoing phenomenon. Lovers end, love continues– it is a continuum. It is a verb, not a noun.” - Osho 

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