Relationships are at the heart of most of our significant life experiences. They help to nurture our body and soul and teach us many important lessons.
In order to be able to commit to another person, you first must be committed to yourself. This means you have to take the time to ensure you are healthy–physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
The two fundamental building blocks for relationship success are healthy Self-esteem and healthy Boundaries.
Instead of searching for someone else to fill your needs and inner emptiness, turn your attention inwards and try to understand what is missing inside you that you cannot give to yourself. To start with, begin working on healing your childhood wounds and start loving and accepting yourself as you are. Take time to be alone. Look inside. Contemplate over your needs and wants. Meditate, go for walks in nature, dance, and enjoy a beautiful sunset. Give to yourself what you usually look to receive from others.
When we blame or judge others for how we feel we inevitably also judge and blame ourselves. Instead of blaming others, look inside and ask yourself: Why am I being triggered by what he or she said? Why am I blaming him or her for how I feel? What is this person or situation teaching me about myself? Pay attention to how others reflect back what you need to see about yourself. Try to understand what you are being shown about yourself and what lessons you need to learn. Remind yourself that other people are wonderful mirrors to help you see your unconscious thought patterns and grow.
When you value yourself and see yourself as equal to others, you are able to honour your thoughts, beliefs and opinions in the face of your partner’s disapproval or disappointment.
Good boundaries allow you to hear constructive critiques but dismiss judgments. Boundaries allow you to be both connected and protected at the same time.
Honesty is an absolute must if we want to have harmonious, intimate and loving relationships. Don't compromise your inner truth and don't manipulate. Be honest with people no matter what the consequences.
Every relationship offers us many opportunities to learn and to grow.
“If you love a person, you say to that person, "Look, I love you, whatever that may be. I've seen quite a bit of it and I know there's lots that I haven't seen, but still it's you and I want you to be what you want to be. And I won't be happy if I've got you in a cage. You'd be a bird without song."- Alan Watts